Flipkart First doesn’t make any sense

Flipkart has just introduced something called Flipkart First, an annual subscription-based priority service tier that offers a bunch of benefits over normal Flipkart services. But I don’t think it makes any sense to subscribe to this.

First Class

Here’s why.

1) Free Shipping on Orders: There is currently a minimum purchase price of around 200 (I think) to be eligible for free shipping, so unless you’re still ordering 2GB memory cards and cheap, 100-rupee earphones, anything you buy is already shipping for free.

2) Free In-a-day Delivery: Standard delivery times are stated as between 6-7 days, but when was the last time it took that long for Flipkart to deliver? 2 days is the maximum I’ve had to wait*. So, unless you stay in a remote town that’s so far out in the middle of nowhere that even Flipkart can’t delivery quickly at, maybe you should really consider moving to another city and stop making Flipkart chase you.

3) Discounted Same Day Delivery: Alright – this is a benefit, but only if you buy at least one product per week from Flipkart. More calculations to come later – I’m lazy.

4) Priority Customer Service: This is “24×7” customer service. I’ve never had to wait for Flipkart customer service. They’re very efficient and always manage to solve any queries. I’ve only actually had two queries for which I’ve had to call them, which is another thing to note – is there ever really a need to all customer care so urgent that it can’t wait for a few hours till morning? If you have an accident with your vibrator at night, maybe you should call the hospital instead.

5) 60 Day Replacement: Fair enough, but if something’s horribly wrong with the product that causes it to fail more than a month later, maybe just call and yell at Samsung (for example) instead. Flipkart didn’t make the product.

6) More benefits to come: No idea what these benefits are. Delivery with kisses? Gift wrapping? Pay by kind? Shipping to Space? I don’t know what to expect, but it certainly doesn’t seem like it would be worth paying in advance for. Unless the kisses are good.

* I did have to wait a few weeks for my TV to get delivered, but it was a huge 51-incher that was shipping from some strange location. It’s alright. This has never happened with any other product. And now Flipkart doesn’t even sell TVs anymore – this is probably the reason why.

I don’t think it makes any sense to become a Flipkart Prime First customer by paying a sizable subscription amount, unless you buy so much stuff from Flipkart regularly that you almost run a distribution and retail like system. In which case, you need to really reconsider your sources, your business strategy and outlook on life in general.

Note: This is intended to be humorous. I’m pretty sure Flipkart will come up with a service that’s worth the hype, just like they always do. Except for that Flyte music store shyte.

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