7 reasons the 7k Moto E Sucks

As expected, the Moto E has been officially announced and that too for a (somewhat) unexpectedly low price of just Rs. 6,999. That sounds great.

But before you pull out 7 pink Gandhis from your wallet, consider these seven reasons why I think the Moto E is just eeeks.

  1. The display is non-HD. Not full HD, not even half HD. It’s an iPhone 4/4S-like 540×960 ‘qHD’ display, or how I like to call it, a ‘chu-HD’ display, which is less than the ideal minimum of 720×1280. But, yeah, sure, it’s still going to be fabulous for watching your pirated cam print mobile movies.
  2. Video camera is non-HD. At a FWVGA (fuckwit VGA?) resolution of 854×480, it’s basically DVD quality 30fps video. I feel 720p video recording should be baseline. The standard for cam print movies must be raised and everything should be HD. It’s in your hands.
  3. No LED flash for the camera. No matter what anyone says about “low light performance” of a camera, it always sucks without a flash. Probably the only good thing about not having an LED flash is that it won’t accidentally go off when you’re taking secret pics of girls in trains or, you know, while your pirating the movie in the cinema.
  4. No selfie camera. Even dogs take selfies now. And you can’t, if you have the Moto E. Blind selfies with the rear camera don’t count. Also tricky to make porn movies at home.
  5. Only 4GB out of the box. You’ll need more place to store your pirated cam print movies, so you’ll need to get at least an 8 or 16GB microSD card, which costs around Rs. 200 extra. That’s the cost of one movie ticket!
  6. It’s heavy. At nearly 150gms, it’s thicker and heavier than the original iPhone from 2007. Samsung’s solution to make lighter shit is to make everything out of cheap plastic even on higher-end phones and just paint it gold or whatever. The Moto E is rubber and plastic, then what the fuck is weighing it down? How will you hold it up for three hours while pirating the movie?
  7. It looks like a Micromax. Specifically, the ancient Micromax Canvas A100. It doesn’t matter what phone you carry around these days, if it’s got a decent 4.3″+ screen, you’ll eventually bump into someone who’ll ask you “Cool phone. Micromax hai kya?”, at which point, you should proceed to make him use the phone touchscreen with his cheek.

If you absolutely only have Rs. 7,000 to spend and can’t go over it at all, then I suggest you pirate a few more movies and then go buy the Moto G instead. Or get a real job.

Note: This is intended to be humorous. I think the Moto E at 7k is a stunning deal. Go, buy it.

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2 thoughts on “7 reasons the 7k Moto E Sucks

  1. lol, the last note should have been in the beginning.

    Like

    1. A twist in tale has to be at the end!

      Like

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